I hear we’re doing fall golf 🍁

Fall golf. The air and beers are extra crispy as the cold hits your lungs. Blinded by the shimmer of morning dew at your frost delayed tee time.

Another promising summer of going low has passed, symbolized by the hue of orange fallen leaves. It is impossible to find your ball.

This is the best time of the year to play golf.

If you’re like me your game is in the shitter by this time of year. All those range sessions, swing tweaks and one small tip from your buddy turned your swing into something your body now rejects.

I need all the help I can get to not have my ass absolutely waxed in the last few Sunday money games before getting fleeced on my parley on the Vikings.

Here are my go-to tips when my shaft is cold.

Give your balls a tug

We get it, you’re a - ProV1X guy. Listen, we’re going to lose some balls this time of year, no one can find it. That hook you developed trying to squeeze in a baby draw to win your club championship flight does not help.

Try something new. Maybe you’ll like the feel of a different ball in the cold. Maybe you’ll save $16 on a dozen Taylormade Tour Response’s and you can customize them to say “MILK MAN” 🥛 instead.

According to Titleist you’ll lose about 1.5% of distance for every 20-degrees of air temperature drop. Bottom line is the cooler air can affect ball flight. Lower-compression balls travel farther in colder temperatures and maintain distance.

The ground is going to be bricked up harder than your family computer after you downloaded all that Creed on Limewire. Play a softer ball around the greens to get more out of those touches.

‘Slippery When Wet’

You know I like it wet. Sometimes playing in poor course conditions gives me an edge because most players only practice on sunny days. Still, there are days I forget to change out my casual shoes and it’s like Bon Jovi’s “Slippery When Wet”, I’m Living on a Prayer.

You’ve seen it all. The cart cover and propane heater veteran who’s telling you the entire round how warm and smart they are. The hey dudes in shorts telling you how they love cold weather but I gotta say, you give love a bad name.

Check a couple of boxes for essentials just in case.

• spiked shoes 👟

• dry towel 🧖 ^_(grips)

• gloves 🧤_{^{(not just your cabretta leather)}}

• beanie 💂

• base layer⛺️

• rain gear ☔️

• hand warmer 🫱🫲 ^{_{(I want to feel like Tom Brady leading the Pat’s in s 2-minute drill in February)}}

  

  getgtech

Otherwise you’ll be as cold as your balls, finding your game to be wanted, dead or alive. 💀

Club Selection

Club Up 👆

She’s easy, swing breezy. Something like that. We can all skull fuck a 60 degree one hundred and fifty yards. Do yourself a favor and club up 1-2 sticks. Knock those balls down. Taking a steep half-swing on the ball creates needed spin for these greens slicker than owl shit. Hold your finish at half-chub, or 3 o’clock for you nerds.

From the dunes of Scotland to the windy plains of West Texas, keeping shots low helped even your Daddy’s MacGregor blades cut through the wind and cold like buttah. 🧈 

Club Down👇

The ball is going to run for days on these fairways. You don’t need to slice your fresh sleeve of low compression balls OB.

Hit a 3-wood or even a low iron and get tee to green with more consistency.

Texas Wedge 🤠

I know it’s old school but she’s already wet out there. Flop shots probably are not the move with your cement hands in these conditions.

Get comfortable on the practice green with a mid-iron or hybrid to start ramming more holes.

Don’t get short with me 🩳

Obviously the ball will travel on the ground from tee-to-green. What about on the green? Those early morning birdies won’t fall down if you’re leaving them short in the frost.

Try putting the ball in the back of the jar. Right now is not the time for playing with too much finesse.

Maybe it’s the pot roast and Hockey Night in Canada waiting for me at home after a chilly day but I get fired up for a fall round. Toss in a birdie or three and a couple cold ones and I’m looking forward to booking the next and perhaps last round of the year.

Stay frosty you beauties.

Your boy,

Rex